"Boys and girls," Ham said. If a teacher so much as mentions evolution, or the Big Bang, or an era when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, "you put your hand up and you say, 'Excuse me, were you there?' Can you remember that?"
"Sometimes people will answer, 'No, but you weren't there either,' " Ham told them. "Then you say, 'No, I wasn't, but I know someone who was, and I have his book about the history of the world.' " He waved his Bible in the air.
"Who's the only one who's always been there?" Ham asked.
"God!" the boys and girls shouted.
Children, children! Don't stop now. Keep going. So, were the biblical writers there to witness whatever it is the Holy Honcho did? Did you see His Invisibleness dictate it all to his scriptwriters? Did you see Him write this all down in that book Ken is drooling over? Keep asking, boys and girls.
When pastors dismiss the creation account as a fable, he says, they give their flock license to disregard the Bible's moral teachings as well. He shows his audiences a graphic that places the theory of evolution at the root of all social ills: abortion, divorce, racism, gay marriage, store clerks who say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."
What's all the fuss, Ken? Your deity beat Darwin and all of us damned evil nonbelievers to murder, infanticide, anthropocide, war, slavery, ...
By the way, Ken, a belated Happy Darwin Day!