According to Mark 16:18 the resurrected Jesus said that among other things those who believe in him will be able to drink deadly poison and will live to amaze the unbelievers and have the last laugh. Wow! Now that's a very testable claim if I ever came across one.
Well, for starters here's a list of poisons I'd like the Pope, Pat Robertson, Benny Hinn, Ted Haggard, Eli Soriano, Manalo, Cardinal Rosales, ... to guzzle. Any of the three will do. (I'm a reasonable and compassionate sadist. I think it would be overkill to have these toadies of Jeebus bloat themselves with three glassfuls in just one sitting.)
* a glass of concentrated sulfuric acid
* a teaspoon of potassium cyanide in a glass of water
* a teaspoon of VX nerve agent in a glass of whatever liquid it dissolves in or is miscible with.
Yes, they can of course have their favorite biscuit, cookie, cupcake, sandwich, puto, or bibingka to go along with their chosen cooler.
Even assuming it's ethical, only the most deluded of Christians would even try their luck. No preacher, pastor, priest, or pope would dare (unless they're a closet pedophile or homosexual under threat of exposure). And you can bet that anyone who does will end up in the Guinness Book of Records as the most pathetic, idiotic, deluded Xian that ever lived.
Now wouldn't it peachy if all Xians would test their faith? They really really really believe in the bible? They really really really believe Jesus Christ is their lord and savior? Well then, prove it and drink the cocktail. Bottoms up, loonies!
And since all Xians who do take a shot of the above will expire (pretty quickly, and I imagine quite horribly) I guess that means either of the following:
1. No Xian in fact believes or believes enough in Jeebus. (Tsk, tsk, ye people of little faith)
2. Jeebus was a liar. (Lesson: don't ever listen to walking, talking corpses)
3. Mark screwed up the dictation. Jeebus said poissons--French for fish--and not poison. (Hey, the dude knows his fishes. He did clone and multiply them, remember? And surely the risen Christ was a master of speaking in tongues, right?)
4. Mark had been booted out of the proto-Christian sect he was so enamoured of and this was his way of getting back at the org, making sure every Xian schmuck down the line pays for the atrocity against him with their life.
5. The bible isn't inerrant and isn't the word of some invisible sky abba (Naaaah! Impossible! Scratch this option.)
