Monday, May 26, 2008

He's baaack!

That deluded priest Fernando Suarez is back in the country. At the end of this month the Pied Piper is leading his flock to Montemaria, Batangas for more imaginary healings. If you're a believer then go ahead, pack up your gear, make a beeline for that mountain lair of his and have an endorphin-enkephalin-opioid rush. Your deity has imbued humans with an innate storehouse of these drugs to give you a high. Avail of it. Be faithful and have faith in faith healing. Be charmed by Suarez. Believe in his curative powers. And feel better. I swear!

Just don't expect your diabetes, cancer, cardiovascular disease, amputated limb, Down syndrome, spina bifida, hemophilia, et be a thing of the past when you come down from cloud nine. That placebo effect you just experienced? It'll wear off soon enough and has no therapeutic value vis-a-vis diseases, as is with the effects of heroin, opium, morphine, booze, and other narcotic substances your deity created but failed to make inherent in your physiology.

Guess I'm really dumb to be a skeptic. Now I'll never be able to enjoy the narcotic, pain-killing, feel-good benefits from delusions of magical supernatural healing and SCAM (Supplements, Complementary and Alternative Medicine). Drats! Somebody give me a delusion quick! Turn me back into a stupid, credulous, gullible ignoramus.

Sigh. Indeed, ignorance is bliss. And Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in mind, for they shall reap the fruits of the placebo effect."

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