Saturday, April 29, 2006

Weightless questions indeed

Bob Park informs us that Islam is going high tech.

Malaysia is preparing to send one of its citizens to the ISS in 2007 on a Russian mission. It will probably be a Muslim, so a computer program called Muslims in Space has been developed to answer these weightless questions. It wouldn't be the first time an astronaut has prayed, but others haven't needed a computer.

Allah needs his daily dose of praises from his toadies. And as you know there are a set number of times they have to drop on their knees and bow toward Mecca. But aboard the International Space Station astronauts circle the earth some 16 times every 24 hours which means the poor Muslim up there has to perform this ritual nearly 7 dozen times everyday. With such a prayer load there's not much else a Muslim spaceman will be doing. He probably won't even be able to get enough snooze. On the bright side the religious hallucinations sleep deprivation will elicit may inspire more crackpots to take to the heavens (I suggest giving them a one way ticket to deep deep space).

To make pleasing Allah more challenging the astronaut will have to wash himself everytime he prays. Try doing that in weightless conditions and where water is scarcer and more priceless than in the Arabian deserts.

I wonder what the software is meant to do. Will it be doing the praying, beaming verses and supplications down to Mecca via radio waves (and bouncing them off satellites should Mecca not be in the line of sight)? Maybe it's suppose to fire the thrusters and turn the entire space station in the direction of Mecca. Or maybe it's going to be a million dollar alarm clock.

(Won't be surprising at all if one day these god-deluded fanatics put an Islamic satellite in geostationary orbit over Mecca.)


Nuts in space.

2 comments:

Omar Barsawad said...

'Islam' makes prayers very simple; it allows in a very easy way - for all kinds of situations.

'..the poor Muslim up there has to perform this ritual nearly 7 dozen times everyday': he doesnt have to do that. Any Muslim who is on a journey, is allowed to say the daily five times prayer - just once and quickly. Travelling to outer space would mean an even easier and faster way of performimg prayers.

And he doesn't have to use water at all. When travelling in deserts with little water, we don't use water for 'washing', .

Muslims used to rule the sea, which was the 'outer space' of long ago, for hundreds of years and the 'prayer load' didn't stop: Ibn Batuta, Ibn Khaldoon, Omar Khayyam, Ibn Sina and other Great Muslims of old from having given much to future thinkers and knowledge.

Edwardson said...

"And he doesn't have to use water at all. When travelling in deserts with little water, we don't use water for 'washing'"

Ah yes, of course. Dry cleaning.