Sunday, November 05, 2006

Rubbing it in

When gay hooker Mike Jones first came out and accused Haggard of regularly having sex with him over the past three years and buying meth (shabu), Haggard denied the allegations on radio and television, and even claimed not to know Jones. Shortly thereafter, perhaps realizing how the evidence Jones had in his possession (including voice mails left by Haggard) was just too damning, Haggard suddenly changed his tune and admitted to having in fact bought drugs and getting a "massage" from Jones.

An innocent back rub, not from his wife, not from a masseur in a legitimate health spa, but from a gay prostitute. And of course, Haggard bought $100 of meth and then promptly threw it away as he claims. Hey, we believe you, dear pastor! How can we six-year olds ever doubt the almighty, sent-by-heaven, immaculate-as-Mary man of God?

Haggard is one stinking, loudmouthed, bible-thumping, through-his-teeth liar.

From Haggard's own New Life Church:

We, the Overseer Board of New Life Church, have concluded our deliberations concerning the moral failings of Pastor Ted Haggard. Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct.

You don't really know what to make of these self-appointed deputies and ministers of god. They slap The Book on you, they preach fire and brimstone for those who commit "abominations," and yet behind the scenes they're carousing with the devil.

Is it all just for show? Is it just a numbers game of beating the other guy in raking in the most number of old ladies? Or the bottom line? A scripted marketing ploy to clean out the congregation's purses? Do these harbingers from on high even believe any of the holier-than-thou, damn-you-fags drivel pouring out of them?


Bronze Dog said...

I wish they'd hurry up and stone Haggard to death. At least they wouldn't be hypocritical anymore, and we'd be able to get them all for murder.

And then we could go on with our lives and scientific pursuits. (Not likely, and sorry: Getting a little tired of this guy already. :) )

erebusnyx said...

30 million evangelicals. That's a lot of stones.

After being treated to Haggard's confession the congregation said "They would hold fast to all Haggard had taught them over the years, including his preaching that homosexual behavior is an affront to God." Really? Then what are you waiting for? Go obey your deity and carry out Executive Order Lev. 20:13.